Scroll down for my personal story of navigating challenges and awakening to the Wise Self, complete with family photos!
Values
- Wisdom & Mindfulness
- Integrity & Trust
- Love & Compassion
- Health, Happiness & Harmony
- Justice, Equality & Respect
- Courageous & Skillful Communication
- Competency, Creativity & Dependability
- Authenticity & Natural Beauty
- Leisure & Fun!
Highlights
- Well-being Speaker & Coach (20 years)
- IBM Wellness Coach
- NASA Ames Contractor, Human Resources
- Deepak Chopra‘s Assistant Manager, Mind Body Residence Program
- Hospitals & Healthcare Community Relations / Education
- Wisdom 2.0 Conference Speaker & Advocate
- Women of Vision & Action, San Diego Chapter, Founder & Facilitator
Clients
Keynote and workshop clients: Cisco Systems, NASA Ames, Bank of America, Wisdom 2.0 Conference, Kabam, Udacity, BetterWorks, RingCentral, Face & Body Conference & Expo, Women of Vision & Action, The Chopra Center for Well Being, Sutter County Schools, and more.
Coaching clients include staff, managers and executives of corporations such as IBM, Cisco Systems, HP, and MediFit Corporation’s Corporate Wellness Program. Clients come from high tech, finance, legal, marketing, healthcare, consulting, and higher education.
Contact me to explore speaking or coaching.
My story of awakening to the Wise Self
This is my story about the heartbreak of witnessing others’ struggles and coming up against my own at 26. It thrust me into the deep end of personal development and wisdom traditions. And so began my process of awakening to the “Wise Self.” The result is a sense of well-being beyond my wildest dreams.
(Backstory)
Mom, Marquette U. magna cum laude and model, was devastated after losing custody of my three brothers and me. She found refuge in an ultra-conservative convent in a far-away state. On her annual visits, I complied with her Amish-like dress code out of compassion. As a teen in the 70’s when miniskirts were all the rage – this was beyond embarrassing!
Dad was a top gun fighter pilot in the Navy teaching acrobatics. Later, flying for a commercial airline, he was bored. One day he showed the crew how to roll a Boeing 727 (no passengers). Word got around. He was fired and blacklisted. It was just a year earlier that he’d won custody of us. Our lives went into a tailspin.
We knew Mom and Dad loved us, but ours was a childhood of instability and neglect. I often felt sad, longing for a normal mom, but there was always lots of adventure and fun with Dad.
(3-part Defining Moment)
I felt deep compassion for Mom and Dad and fiercely defended kids who were bullied at school, but it wasn’t until age 26 that I heard the call to serve after seeing others struggle and becoming aware of my own stress.
I was living in a beautiful condo high on a hill next to the University of San Diego. It was spacious and sunny with a 20’x20’ deck where we held 4th of July parties because of our fabulous view. But things went south fast. The police raided the condo below us while the drug dealers crawled out of a second story window in the back…just like in the movies! Another day walking out the door, my jaw dropped open seeing a huge hole in the front door of the two brothers across the way. Apparently, they were fighting and one threw a bowling ball at the other. I thought, “Dear God, why are people so miserable? I need to do something to help!”
But first, I needed to deal with my own stuff. I had gotten sick and ended up in ER (again) because the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. Consumed with anxiety, I actually had the thought, “I don’t care if I die, I just need peace-of-mind.”
This was a turning point.
Putting my bachelors in business to use in healthcare wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to find a way out of stress and pass it on. So I dove into psychology, personal development, and wisdom traditions. I even landed a job with Deepak Chopra in 1994. In 2001, I became a Certified Mindful Coach and moved to the SF Bay Area for ongoing study with Adyashanti, who had spent 14 years with a Zen teacher. He was ordinary yet exuded extraordinary wisdom and equanimity.
Because of his teachings and that of others like Eckhart Tolle, I had my first “awakening” on retreat in 2005.
This transformed my life.
I’d gained insights from personal development that dramatically improved my life. But something was missing. This awakening felt like a huge evolutionary leap forward.
(Results)
I’ll try to describe what happened:
My heart burst open with overflowing love for everyone, including myself.
I felt so free, so light, so happy…as if released from prison.
I was present with fewer thoughts of past and future tormenting me.
There was a recognition of who I am in the deepest sense. Nothing was missing.
…that gave me a depth of trust that life is always on purpose.
The rest of our silent retreat, I walked around with tears streaming down my face overwhelmed with gratitude and love for everyone.
When I told Adya, he said, “You’ve crossed the threshold.” I said, “Crossed the threshold!? I can’t imagine there’s more!” He said, “Let’s see how you do.” That felt a little daunting.
Nevertheless, a fundamental shift had occurred. I would never be the same. The “Wise Self” (or higher self) became more prominent in my daily life than the “Small Self” (or unhealthy ego). Everything began to transform: relationships were easier, decisions were values-based, self-love was unconditional, and my resilience astonished me…and my friends.
(Overcoming Challenges)
And, as Adya alluded to, I continue to this day to “fall back asleep” and “wake up” again which is usually how it works. When challenges arise, I coach myself thru them using tools from a process I call the AAA Quest, which synthesizes what I’ve discovered. It’s a journey of Awareness, Action, and Acceptance to solve problems and be resilient.
For example, years ago I shared a beautiful home with a woman I judged as inconsiderate and clueless. Once she reorganized our storage unit. I said, “Next time, please don’t move my things. Let me know what you need. I’ll move them.” Sometime later, she did it again, plus moved some of my things to the garage.“ After many such instances, I finally yelled at her and stormed off. In the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A memory popped up of Adya describing how some Buddhist nuns practice looking in the mirror until they awakened to their True Nature, so… I looked in the mirror and thought, “I know you’re in there. Please help me. I’m so angry. I’m caught in illusion. I want to feel your wisdom and love.” It was the strangest thing: feeling angry and yet knowing True Nature was right under the surface, unconditionally loving me and my housemate. In a few minutes, tears began to flow as I softened. I wasn’t suddenly cheerful as though nothing had happened. But I felt huge relief and awe at the power of recognition and transformation in that moment. It also brought clarity: I needed to move out. That transition happened in about 10 mins. Tears of gratitude streamed for what I now know that created that astonishing resilience.
(Wrap)
For 20 years now, I’ve poured my heart into supporting professionals thru their challenges by beckoning their own Wise Self to guide them. I stand in as a surrogate of sorts until they have a solid feel for who’s in their ear: the Small Self or the Wise Self. And their lives begin to transform. The AAA Quest synthesizes my discoveries into the process I use to support others in navigating any challenge or goal.
This is my small contribution to humanity: Awakening the Wise Self for Well-being.
Are you ready for what could be the journey of a lifetime?
P.S. Mom moved back to the S. Santa Monica Bay when we were young adults and is the generosity hub of the family. You’ll regularly find our family deep in conversation / straight talk or laughing and having fun…often from Dad’s Irish storytelling from a life of adventure. Our personal growth and spirituality came / comes from our challenges.
“Your True Self is immune to criticism, it is unfearful of any challenge, and feels beneath no one. And yet, it is also humble and feels superior to no one, because it recognizes that everyone else is the same Self in different disguises.”
~ Deepak Chopra